What Does it Mean to FAIL?

Well, this is a difficult topic for me because I take the idea of failure very seriously.  To me personally, failure is upsetting and horrifying and symbolizes a lost cause. Making a model that doesn’t work is not failure. Something that can be fixed is not failure, for you still have a chance at success. Getting an unsatisfying grade on a test is failure. Getting fired for a mistake you made is failure. Breaking something valuable is failure. Time cannot be turned back and some mistakes are irreversible. Now, some people would describe failure as the opposite of passing—not fulfilling the minimal amount of work you have to do, but the definition of fail is “to be unsuccessful in achieving one’s goals.” So that could be passing one test, or it could be getting 100% in a course. When I know something is achievable for me, when I have myself thoroughly convinced that I can do something, I get very upset when I find that it’s not possible.


Grit - Angela Lee Duckford:

We just watched a TED Talk in class by Angela Lee Duckford about “grit,” and I’m feeling torn. I’m not sure just how much I agree with the ideas expressed. She stated that grit and perseverance were much more important than talent for success. A lot of who I am can be traced back to one thing. I’m going to sound really arrogant saying this, but I’m used to success. In my mind I’m either great at something or I’m not. I enjoy doing what I’m good at and I avoid doing things I’ve acknowledged I have no talent in. The phrase “stick with what you’re good at,” applies. Now, grit definitely helps, but I don’t think it’s the most important thing. That’s why I’m stubborn and don’t want to get a job presently because the only jobs that are readily available to students are jobs working with food and kids and I don’t think I’m particularly good at either of those. At the same time, I do agree that those who can’t commit probably won’t get very far in life. My best guess is that grit and talent are equally important for success. 

     On the topic of rhetorical devices (see the addition to the CIVICS page,) I’d like to talk about euphemisms in particular. Is it right to use euphemisms around children for sensitive topics such as death? If the dog died of old age, is it better to tell the child: “I’m sorry, but Pluto is gone.” “Where did he go?” The child might ask. “He’s in a better place now.” “What place?” I wonder if we say things like “he passed away” to make the children feel better about death or to make ourselves feel less uncomfortable.

     In a speech or any situation with an audience present, the use of euphemisms soften controversial or serious topics like death, sex, or drugs. Some individuals get offended or unnerved by the use of blunt language, even if that’s the topic at hand. They will be more willing to listen and think about the ideas instead of get embarrassed or sad and turn away. However, we have to wonder when we are using such words for the benefit of others and when we are doing it for ourselves. When we tell someone else that a loved one has “passed on,” are we saying that because we think they might react badly or because we want to deny ourselves the blunt truth that they’re dead? 

What was the best dream you ever had? I’m not talking about your happiest or sweetest dream. The dream I speak of is that one dream that made you think, that one dream that has stayed in your mind ever since you dreamt it, that one dream that you desperately wanted to continue, but alas, you woke up. These marvelous works of art created by our subconscious can be the most fascinating stories. 

Unfortunately, once we wake up, the random and unpredictable nature of the dream is lost and our minds edit the story and fill in the plot holes. This can either make the dream boring or more interesting. If you make an effort to hold on to a dream, it will change, just like how fables from centuries ago have been scrambled and transformed into almost completely different stories. Therefore, the details of the dream I am about to recount will most likely be much different than the original that I dreamt almost five years ago:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1M3nE0-5Q1bXngGCeh1oF1Ah8bhs5OaJ5Y7egl35cfYE/edit?usp=sharing

Obviously, that’s not a very happy dream, but I still wanted to return to it. I needed to know, was I actually there for a reason? Did I belong there for that very reason? Or did I end up there and the act of being there was what drove me crazy? Was it not a big deal and I was just mistaken? Was I having a dream inside of a dream? 

So, have you ever had a fascinating dream that might have been scary but you wanted to return to it anyways?

     We just advanced into the spring season of Civic Mirror yesterday and I’m a little unsure of how it’s going to go. Firstly, there’s my Hidden Agenda. I think mine will be a little difficult to fulfill because I’d have to go against my ideas and beliefs about the game to succeed and earn the Status Points. Next, there’s the power crisis. There certainly isn't enough power to go around and while my house is powered for now, I have to worry about what’s going to happen next “year“. I’ll have to keep up with paying for energy to power both my house and my Arts and Entertainment Hex. Finally, there’s my goal of making money in creative ways. My A&E Hex might provide a bit of cash, but with the state of things in EverRest, I doubt they’d bother buying any units if all they provide is extra WB points. I offered to be the local meteorologist for the country because I would love to give the job a try, but I offered to do it for only $200 a year. Part of me regrets this because even food costs more than that, but the offer got me the job and I can try to find other ways to make money. So, all in all, the game could go really well for me or my plans could totally fail. I’ll just have to take it one day at a time and do everything in my power to keep my “family” safe and sound. 

For the FFP book club, my book of choice was A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness. I read up to the end of Chapter 10 and I’m enjoying it. The book so far is about a witch named Diana Bishop who denies her power and tries to refrain from using magic. One day, she finds a manuscript in the library for her research on alchemy and finds that it’s bewitched. Soon, she bumps into a vampire named Matthew Clairmont who helps her realize that the manuscript is a great deal more important than it may seem.

Some things I’m finding a bit odd about the book are the formatting and writing style. The margins on the sides and tops of the pages are very small, so I find the walls of text to be a bit overwhelming at times. The text on each page is fairly small compared to most books, and I find the font very formal. Regarding the author’s style of writing, I can tell it was her first work of fiction. There is a great deal of description and information can be written like a report at times. There isn’t as much dialogue as I’d hoped. This bothers me a bit because with books like this, I’ll automatically skim and scan through the huge paragraph describing, say, Diana making tea and cleaning the counter and I’ll seek out her inner thoughts or maybe skip to the next page where there’s dialogue. Of course, if I get lost I’ll just go back and reread the page.

Although I usually go for science fiction books, a fantasy book can be good every now and then. I also chose this book because it’s been recommended to me before by a friend of mine. It was her favourite book (I think she said she’d read it 27 times…) and she was really excited when I told her I was going to read it for book club. Also, it turns out another friend of mine in Preston chose the same book that I did! I’m pretty excited to get started with the book club discussions because I love talking about books that I enjoy. I’m really happy with the size of our group, too. I’m looking forward to discussing it with others today.

     Do you ever just zone out and stare off into space? You get a blank look on your face, not focusing on anything in particular. You probably have something you’re supposed to be doing. Maybe you’re in class or in a conversation or tidying your room or washing your hair. 

     When this happens, what are you thinking about?

     Now, don’t get me wrong, I appreciate how safe and secure I am. I know I’m lucky to live such a sheltered life; many people don’t have such a privilege.  I’m happy and healthy and I have people to love me. However, sometimes that’s not enough for me. I read books that are full of action and angst and romance! The main character faces so much conflict and I just think, “What are my problems compared to theirs?”

     So, when I zone out like that, the scenes that fabricate themselves in the dark depths of my head take over my conscious mind for just a few moments, showing me a situation I’m likely never to experience. Maybe I’m kidnapped and I have to escape. Maybe I’m on the run from the law because I was framed and my chances of being proved innocent are slim. Maybe I’m curled up in the arms of the guy I like, watching my favourite show with him. Most of the time, it's a case of “what if?” What if something terrible happened and how would I react? Sometimes it’s just a simple and sweet fantasy that I know probably won’t come true, but I can dream.

     When I write fanfiction or short stories, my favourite thing about it is that I can make the characters experience the situations I have come up with. I can express my own reactions through the characters and live out fantasies that I would never be able to have in reality. I can indulge in the delicious conflict and the horrifying scenes and the adorable fluffy romance, all while sitting on my bed, curled up with my fuzzy blanket and my laptop. 

     And so, I shall ask you again, dear readers. What are you thinking about when you drift away from reality for a while?

Here is a link to the story I wrote for the "My Perfect World" assignment to demonstrate what I think a perfect world would be like. [click here to go to the google doc]

     Today we watched a TED Talk by Jennifer Pahlka called Coding a Better Government. The main idea was that government is being improved by apps. Apps are cheap and easy to make, so they connect people without costing too much money or causing problems. Sometimes people call for government services when an easier solution is possible. With the apps that are made, people can be easily connected with other people in their community that may be having the same problems or have already thought of a solution. I really liked the idea that instead of filling out a ton of paperwork or having to call in to “adopt” a hydrant or sidewalk, apps have made it easy to sign up. People have more incentive to take care of a hydrant or something if it’s simple to sign up. It’s easy and more fun to name it online or through an app and easier to keep up. I was surprised that people actually call government services for things like possums caught in their trash cans when they could simply talk to each other. I think it’s a good idea to help people help each other. 

     I am curled up on my neatly made bed, fuzzy tan blanket laid out underneath me, which would leave me slightly chilly but I am in my favourite cozy pajamas  My hair is still cold and damp from my shower and falls to my shoulders in individual ringlets. Everyone else has found something else to do, leaving me to myself, but I like it best this way. The taste of hot chocolate and cinnamon buns lingers in my mouth from my earlier snack. The last sliver of daylight has slipped away, letting the pom-pom clad lamp of mine to take over, the lampshade reducing it to a duller glow. The red and blue Christmas lights that are ever so present in my room slowly change between the colours, reflecting off my mirrored closet doors, maximizing the effect. There are things to do, but I am blissfully ignoring them and reading a plot-thick fanfiction about one of my favourite shows. My warm puppy sleeps beside me, curled up into a furry circle. My music blasts my favourite theme songs almost louder than I can handle.  It’s perfect. 

     Our class recently filmed our own version of the viral “Harlem Shake.” Some of my classmates organized the process and we were told to bring in props to represent ourselves and our school.

     Personally, I didn't really enjoy it. The idea was interesting, but I’m just not the type of person. I don’t like being filmed and especially don’t like dancing in front of other people. I am generally an outgoing person, but I’m still a person, a teen at that. I get self-conscious at times, and times like this make me feel the worst. I know it’s good to step out of your comfort zone every once and a while, but this was just too big a step for me. I get embarrassed easily and while I can deal with some mean comments, this scared me a bit too much. While I know that the people that do see this will probably think, “Oh, that’s cool. They’re dancing and it’s a nice way to introduce their school,” in my head I’m hearing, “Wow, they look so stupid. She looks stupid. How ridiculous. That’s, like, the most retarded dance I've ever seen. God, something must be wrong with her.” I tried to join in and go along with everything, but I felt very uncomfortable. 

     Filming it wasn't a long process. It took one day to do, but that is mostly because I was not one of the main organizers of the project. I’m sure they had much more to do, editing and what not. First we were told to bring in costumes and props. We were to prepare and then join the group. We started with a trial in the classroom to assure everything was working. Then we started filming for real. We made sure we had lots of footage to edit into the video. The video was supposed to start with students entering Tassie Hall and spotting a GCI ghost on the balcony. The ghost is dancing alone and, like most Harlem Shake videos, is joined by a group of dancers suddenly dressed in costumes. The video was supposed to cut to other scenes in which the ghost is dancing with everyone else all over the school. After filming a bunch of scenes in various places around GCI, the main students involved filmed a scene at the end where they wake up after dozing off in class, implying that it was really a dream. 

     The theme of our Harlem Shake video was representing our school. We made this video to give other schools an idea of who we are. The costumes and props we brought in were all supposed to represent our school in some way. The main focus of the video, the ghost, represents our school mascot. I was dressed in band attire and holding a clarinet to symbolize the great music program at our school. I was also wearing a hat that had some of our school colours. This fit’s the theme because I think that everyone should know that our bands and choirs are one thing that makes GCI great!